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Oh sometimes how we yearn for love, dreaming of our beloved who appears to us. Like looking in a mirror and seeing the unknown aspects of ourselves, reflecting back to us. We fall in love, yet it is not called falling for nothing! We fall out of our rational, thinking minds and into the embrace of a form of ecstatic madness, where logic and reason have no place and our heart melts in an unthinkable and unknown way. Like moths to the flame, we continue to throw ourselves into the fiery maelstrom of gazing to another to fulfill our deepest and most secret desires.
‘The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.’ Rumi.
Welcome to my second blog, the musings, poetry and challenges on longing for love. Some of this writing is from my forthcoming book, ‘Enchanted Love in the Himalayas.’
‘She fell in love more deeply, profoundly and unbearably than her heart could have ever imagined. He was totally unexpected and unplanned, yet the experience of him was so unwavering and unshakeable, that it was impossible to ignore, never mind to repudiate. How could she meet this man, her mirror image, her divine joy and bliss, her untold wish, her illuminating secret, there, in such a desolate and decaying, yet stunningly beautiful place. How could he hold up her face to his as if the whole meaning of life was reflected there. For love to show its unrelenting shadow in the full glare of the naked sun with little atmosphere to filter its full effects seemed, at times, like a slow torture from which she would never recover.
Yet in that first moment of seeing him, his eyes, so deeply penetrating into the core of her being, it felt like her skin had been shredded from its bones and left her sweet, vulnerable, tender, open heart hanging in the breeze, like a Buddhist prayer flag waving from the monastery walls. The pervading presence of the Himalaya mountains made everything seem more surreal.
He was so beautiful and brilliant, like a picture of a radiant shining Buddha she had once seen. He dazzled her with his sparkling presence and his eyes shone with a luminosity usually reserved for those high on cocaine. He drugged her rational and sensible mind and whirled her into a hidden place where she could not emerge, unless she found the key. Even with the key, she could not know which door she was trying to open or even where the lock was. Where were the clues here? He took the ground away from her, so swiftly and completely, that she forgot that it had ever existed. It left her suspended, out of control, lost in an innocence and rapture that she never knew existed.’
So, before we are swept away in the whirlwind romance of our delusional imaginations, let’s pause to wonder if romantic love is simply a high dream fantasy, that we willingly feed upon through the movies, books and the media? Continually conditioned, we look for our lover and soul partner for our whole lives. We feel cheated, betrayed and deceived by life, if the chosen one does not appear, or, in fact does and then leaves us.
“There is the heat of Love, the pulsing rush of Longing, the lover’s whisper, irresistible.. magic to make the sanest man go mad.” Homer. The Iliad.
The incessant search for union is acted out, despite sometimes grievous loss, with a total misunderstanding of what we are really looking for. Our desperation to find ‘the one’ produces more misery, our attachment to what we think ‘should just happen’ brings more pain and we thus continue the circuitous route of our circular patterns. We misunderstand the quest, head off in the opposite direction to the one we think we bring us the result of happiness and everlasting love. When someone with a map, heroically attempts to point out that we have perhaps taken a wrong turning, we insist we are on the right road for us. We may feel confused, lost and depressed and anxious, but it is our experience and that’s what counts. Our experience, no matter how painful or unhealthy, is us following ourselves, unable to differentiate between what we have become conditioned and addicted to, and what can make us truly happy.
‘Wisdom Tells me I am Nothing.
Love Tells I am Everything.
Between the Two, my Life Flows.’
We would prefer to get totally lost driving from Sydney to Melbourne or London to Paris, because its our experience of being lost and who knows what we may encounter on the way? Its valid sometimes as we all want to find our own way. At the same time, many have travelled before us and come back with the knowledge of the route. They warn us of the long wandering side paths, the dangerous precipices and the consequences of only seeking the thrill, the adrenaline rush and then the deep despair and depression of, my ‘life is meaningless if I don’t meet the love of my life’.
True happiness and fulfillment and joy doesn’t come from getting fixated on meeting and just loving one other person. There are billions of people in the world, who need our help and love. Paradoxically, the journey together with someone else can magically appear when we realise that opening our hearts to all, enables us to form a loving relationship with someone. We can then experience the wonderful highs and difficult lows that true love and relationship entails. We then can travel the long and enchanting path together.
But do we really care? For many of us, we continue to rush headlong in momentary rapturous delight into the next possibility of intense, all encompassing, inviting embrace of the possibility, that maybe, this time, this is really IT! And you know what, my dear friends, sometimes, it really is! Yet remember that love is a journey and not a movie. So when they sail off into the sunset together at the end of the movie, the truth is, that the journey is really only just beginning.
The Alchemy of Love. Rumi.
Love makes bitter things sweet. Love turns copper to gold..
You come to us from another world. From beyond the stars and void of space.
Transcendent, Pure, Of unimaginable beauty.
Bringing with you the essence of love.
You transform all who are touched by you.. You are the master alchemist.
You light the fire of love in earth and sky, in heart and soul of every being.
Through your loving, existence and nonexistence merge.
All opposites unite. All that is profane becomes sacred again.