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Welcome to the first dog blog wagging tails, therapy for humans. Dogs really know the psychology of humans so we are writing this blog. There will be a different guest dog every blog. I’m a chocolate labradoodle, called Chocolatte. Oh, so obvious and spoken in a French accent, if you please. Yes, of course my humans drink a lot of latte coffee and live in a fairly elegant neighbourhood. Otherwise I wouldn’t have to go through life with such a daft name. Its so embarrassing every time they shout my name in the dog park. Then they wonder why I ignore them and pretend its not me. “She never comes when I call her!” But actually my real name is Akiko. It means bright child in Japanese. Yeah, yeah, I know I don’t look Chinese or Japanese but I have a Taoist soul.
The Tao is a profound guide to the mystery and wisdom of life. It cannot be spoken or named. I like that. Humans use too many words and find it difficult to be silent. Harmonize with nature and effortless action, you know, all that stuff. I am very silent and focused and at one with Nature, especially when I am sneaking up on a cat!
Go with the flow, take the Path of least resistance
They say the Labrador retriever part of me comes from Canada so maybe my humans thought there was a French connection. I don’t think so! If I was French, maybe I would be a poodle. Oh, I do have a poodle part of me, oh dear. I mean, just look at me, do I really look like a French poodle with bows in her hair? But poodles were also originally water retrievers, just like Labrador retrievers. You see, poodles are now seen as very beautiful, sophisticated and intelligent so my real name makes sense. Bright also means intelligent. So maybe I am more integrated than I realised.
I wish you humans could learn that its not the external appearance of things which are important. it’s the inner energy that counts.
So who we think we are is not the whole story. Who we don’t think we are, the unknown parts of us need to be explored and integrated. Hence I look like a dog, half retriever, half poodle who turns out to have a Taoist nature so I can accept being called Chocolatte by the humans in my life.
Wow, thanks to the dog God that I don’t have to think like humans. Its so complicated!
By the way, did you know that God is spelled Dog backwards?
So, our pack has decided that its time that we give you some essential key wisdom to help you all become calmer and happier. She who thinks she is dominant pack leader who lives in the house is currently busy watching the ‘Dog Whisperer’ TV again. She gets excited when she watches and writes a lot down in a red book. Hardly in a calm assertive state that he recommends. He says that it’s not the dogs that are the problem. I think she’s a bit deaf on that one.
The truth is that if the dog is causing a problem for their humans, it can be sorted out really quickly. That Dog Whisperer says, “humans take a lot longer to change.” He’s really cool and understands the scene. We are dogs, not babies or children or humans. We have animal nature which seems to be an advantage. We don’t think alot but act on our instincts. I wish humans would stop analyzing so much and just enjoy the fresh air, the sky and space and the sound of the wind in the trees. (Trees are really good to pee on, actually.) They live in their heads most of time or stare at those strange screens all day. They have forgotten how to talk to one another and have fun and feel free. They think and worry so much about the past and the future.
Life is so simple. Don’t complicate it.
Me, I’m just happy when the sun comes out and I can run into the sea and bark at the waves. It’s really easy to be happy if you live in the present moment. We dogs don’t hang onto what happened yesterday. Still I did lose my stick in the park the other day. I suspect the big Alsatian took it. I might just give him a little growl next time I see him, just as a warning.
So now, she who thinks she is dog therapist pack leader keeps opening the back door because she thinks I need to pee. But I don’t, and clearly communicate that by turning around and going back to my basket. How would she like to be woken up and tipped out of a nice warm bed and get thrown out in the cold for no good reason. On top of which, my paws get wet and muddy. But no, she makes a funny noise at me which sounds like shusht and pokes her finger at me. Seriously? Does she really think that’s going to make me do what she’s telling me? No way. Then she tries the clicker thing, click it goes and she sometimes rewards me with a treat if I do what she tells me. Gee, she’s not so clever. Doesn’t she realize I only do what she wants, to get the food!
We dogs, we just live each moment as it arrives. We just act on our natural tendency, especially when we smell chicken left out on the table. Then I live up to my true name and quick as lightening I leap up and retrieve the poor delicious cooked bird. All the shouting in the world doesn’t change the outcome that I run faster than her. Even if she caught me, for sure, she wouldn’t eat it once I’d wrapped my drooling, doggy mouth around it.
Life is just a good game
Then it’s the usual, ‘wait til your father gets home.’ But he who is wise and I get on famously together, because he knows that the best dog psychology is to keep treats in his trouser pockets. Then he just gives them to me without her having a clue. I follow him everywhere and do what he tells me because I know where the treats are coming from! No clickers, no ‘give me your paw.’
She who must be obeyed say’s to him. “Oh, he loves you so much. He’s like a shadow and follows you everywhere.” Little does she know our secret. She found out recently what was going on and hid all my treats. But he knew where they were anyway. It’s a great spy game where we are in cahoots together all the time. Keeps us both endlessly amused.
He who is wise smells better than her. I think she sprays French perfume on her body. What a strange thing to do. Doesn’t she like her natural smell? He’s musty and fusty like me. He doesn’t care if he drops food everywhere and leaves a mess or his hair is tangled and sticking up like mine. She calls him and me ‘dirty boy. You haven’t had a wash’. I just wag my tail and roll over and she forgets, but he has to go and get all wet and soapy every day. Woof! But he really likes her. I know cos he sometimes won’t let me on the sofa when they sit together. But usually I sneak up on both of them and rub against their legs. They pat me and I get one paw and then two paws up. They are not really paying attention so I either sneakily and slowly climb up and they don’t notice as they are watching that great movie, Marley or Red Dog. Or I quickly jump on their lap and it makes them laugh and they tickle my tummy. They seem to forget their objections to me sitting on the sofa or bed.
Sometimes I do think that if human beings were more like us dogs, they would be much happier.
My dog therapy advice for today is;
Don’t think, just follow your instincts. If it smells good, eat it. Be happy when you meet others and have a good conversation by woofing kindly at each other. If you feel depressed, go for a long walk or chew a good bone or jump in a big puddle.
We dogs love to smell each other’s bottoms but I think those who have two legs might not want to do that. But it tells you everything you want to know about the other animal and saves lots of time asking questions like, who are you and what do you do? A few sniffs and they are an open book to you!
Pretend to be dumb with those who think they know everything but actually know next to nothing because you can’t teach a cat to be a dog! Don’t show your teeth unless you are really feeling threatened, but under NO circumstances, bite.
Have a happy woofing life.
Here are some of my mates who wanted to get in on the action. Love Chocolatte.
PS. My friend Lucky, yes that’s really his name will write the next dog blog on how to be a lucky dog and human. If you don’t want to miss it, sign up on the Home page to subscribe and feel free to put your paw prints in the Comments.