counsellor & therapist

Connect and stay in touch with Sherry. Join her on Facebook & Twitter

Subscribe to her website & blog for her latest news,
radio interviews, articles & more.


Conflict Resolution Skills with Sydney Process Counselling and Therapy

image001 (2)

This article discusses Conflict Resolution Skills from more ‘traditional’ methods and also ways of working from Process Psychology. As a therapist, counsellor and relationships therapist, it is important to become skillful in conflict resolution skills.

  • The Facilitator demonstrates focus, engagement, adaptability and flexibility.
  • Listens, has respect, is knowledgeable, neutral, has humour and is well prepared.
  •  Has energy, presence, is friendly and sensitive and can create a happy and welcoming atmosphere.
  • Is confident and highly competent, open, creates trust and a safe environment which reduces anxiety and depression and can use conflict resolution skills.
  • Asks and is open to feedback and can access the wisdom of the group.
  • Has good communication skills, is organised and has clarity.
  • Can demonstrate techniques and strategies, analyses the situation, is accountable and gives creative solutions.
  • Has Experience in conflict resolution skills, counselling and mediation skills.
  • Is able to differentiate strategies from outcomes, respects the group’s norms and can adjust to the group.
  • Understands different types of disagreement and can guide group to consensus, takes action to prevent, detect and resolve ‘disruptive’ behaviour.
  • Facilitator is interested in problem solving and decision making models. Variety of traditional strategies such as active listening, probing, paraphrasing, providing feedback, questioning, clarifying, looking at options and new actions.
  • The ability to stay ‘centred’ when preparation did not see a situation which is very challenging to the facilitator, and they must deal with it quickly and professionally.
  • Quickly identify the communication style the group needs, and provide it.


Process Psychology adds in;

  • Facilitator has Metaskills, which are attitudes and qualities that are a direct reflection of our most heart-felt beliefs about life.
  •  Knowing that the unknown is the process that is trying to happen.
  • Has compassion, wisdom, awareness and a detached overview, humour, spaciousness, the ability to adapt and flow, generosity of spirit etc.
  • Facilitator understands that conflict is meaningful and isn’t ‘against it’. Is experienced in conflict resolution skills.
  •  Is inclusive and has excellent relationship skills. Is collaborative and is open to the dreaming field.
  • Understanding that a group (more than one person) has a ‘field’ and we are channels through our feelings and experiences for that field. The field becomes conscious when we are aware of our perceptions and manifests its wisdom.
  • Deep democracy means that all parts and people are needed and appreciated and have a voice.
  • Empowers others and allows the facilitator/leadership role to be picked up by others.
  • Knows their own edges and how to facilitate them and others edges. Helps person/group over their edges, out of the ‘comfort zone’.
  •  Aware of diversity and rank issues and knows how to work with their own and others social, psychological, structural and spiritual rank.
  • Is experienced in picking up own and others escalation and de-escalation skills when the conflict becomes more intense or aggressive. Knows what signals escalate a conflict. Knows how to reduce emotions such as stress and anxiety by working skillfully with ‘hotspots.’
  • Understands the bigger picture and the ‘dreaming process’ of the group/ person/themselves. Often conflict happens because there needs to be a deeper, meaningful dialogue. Winning means following what is happening rather than ‘beating’ the other person.  Being able to access the dreaming and essence levels of the conflict. Eg. essence level, there are no longer sides!
  • Understands that there is only temporary resolution and things will change and the next unknown process will start.
  • Is as transparent as possible. Knows how to deal with attack.
  • Facilitator knows how they react in a conflict and are aware of how they may marginalise and disavow parts in themselves or others. Awareness and fluidity to step in and out of various roles and sides and positions and fully express their viewpoints.
  • Knows the disturber role has meaning for the group and the dreaming level and doesn’t just ‘shut people down’ or ignore them.
  •  Is process focused not only problem focused. Ability to deal with challenge and attacks.
  • Follows agenda of other person/ group while reaching consensus on topic to be discussed.
  • Allows group to follow process with minimal and effective interventions. ‘Less is more.’
  • Handles challenges well from the group and can also challenge people.
  • Has a deep understanding of the roles.
  • Is aware of own triggers, blind spots and personal ‘wounding’
  • Knows their personality or primary process and are open to the secondary or unknown which is trying to happen and unfold.
  • Being able to fully take the other person’s side as well as their own side.
  • Knows how to free themselves from the pressure of the facilitator role and deal with the critic figure.(eg. I must get it right, succeed, get a great outcome, be sensitive)
  •  Recognises the timing of interventions.

(If you use this information, please credit Sherry Marshall and Process Psychology)

About the Author
Sherry (BSc. Sociology; MAA. Social Work, AMHSW; Masters Science Soc. Ecology; Diplomate, Process Psychology) is a faculty Director of ANZPOP.

She has offered expert psychological counselling in Australia and overseas since 1989. Sherry is currently based in both the Sydney CBD and on the Northern Beaches near Manly. She also offers national and international phone and Skype appointments.

If you would like more information or wish to reference something you have read on this website please contact Sherry.

Back to top